


A Moment, A Love

by sadtrash



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, Stanley Uris Lives, also i will update tags as needed, i have a plan but have not written it all out yet so we'll see, i will tag more ships and characters as needed, obscene amount of cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27532120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtrash/pseuds/sadtrash
Summary: How could he have forgotten? His whole body felt weird. Very aware. Like every single nerve inside him was shooting too fast and just constantly. He hated it but he also felt so incredibly alive and he had never realized until that moment that everything before then hadn’t really been living. Not in any real kind of way, at least.-AKA the one where I rewrite Chapter 2 and add a bunch of scenes that are canon in my head and should honestly be a thing.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	A Moment, A Love

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing a fic in like 3 years or something so please be kind to me. i am not sure if this will be a chapter thing or a series thing yet. if depends on how easy it is for me to figure out the website since this is my first time here but there is definitely more to come. the fun is just beginning! :)

Eddie’s insides were begging to become outsides. He had just gotten in a wreck and Mike was actually asking him how he was doing? He was fucking fantastic, clearly. His poor heart was beating so fast that he was surely having a heart attack. There was literally no way. Death was finally here knocking on his door as he said bye to Mike and promised to call after he figured out the whole car wreck thing.

He had told Myra about the likeliness of getting in a wreck while on the phone, he just didn’t think he was predicting the future.

“Fuck me,” he huffed as he looked over his car. His heart was still going crazy but it probably was not a heart attack, or he would have already been gone, right? He felt frozen in time for a moment. Untethered. Lost. Terrified.

For some reason all he could think about was calling someone but that someone was not his wife Myra and that was weird, right?

He couldn’t dwell on that thought much as he traded info with the other driver and apologized for this major fuck up. Eddie wasn’t the kind of guy who fucked up. He was always prepared and had been his whole life so whatever just happened? He had no words for it. And yet, even after the other driver went away and Eddie got in his SUV, praying it would somehow still run so he could get it to a mechanic, all he could think about was calling someone. Someone who wasn’t his wife.

But who?

It was dumb to think about. He should call Myra. Let her know what happened. That he’d be home late. But he didn’t want to talk to her. He didn’t want another lecture. Sometimes it felt more like Myra was more of a mother than his wife and he didn’t like to think about that. That was totally fucked.

 _Anyway_. She’d just start complaining about how she told him this would happen and then fuss over him for eight hours and make him go to the hospital and get every single part of his body scanned with CT.

And normally, Eddie would allow it to happen. He would actually go and get a million CT scans even though the radiation was more dangerous than anything he might have.

Because that was the thing. Eddie was fine.

Was he completely freaking out and his heart beating out of his chest still? _Yeah_. But he didn’t break anything and that was a good thing. As he took a puff from his inhaler, he felt slightly better. _It’s just a panic attack_. He had them frequently since youth. It was fine. He would be fine.

He started up the car, which thankfully did still run though it looked like absolute shit. There was a mechanic shop just down the road and for a moment he actually let himself think about how convenient that was. What would have been more convenient? Not fucking crashing his car, to begin with.

 _Fuck_.

His mind was everywhere. The car. Fucking CT machines and radiation. His fight with Myra. Mike’s call.

He had actually almost forgotten about that as he pulled into the shop and the mechanic started to look over the car.

No, that was a lie. He had not forgotten. How could he? It was what had started this whole shit show, right?

The mechanic told him to wait a bit so he could give him an estimate and Eddie already knew that the guy was gonna rip him off but at this point, he didn’t care. He just wanted this nightmare to be over. This was not him. He didn’t get into accidents. He was careful. This was a fucking awful turn of events.

His mind drifted back to Mike from Derry, a friend who he didn’t even remember having until moments ago. How was that possible? It was weird. His brain was processing things that it couldn’t possibly be processing because he had completely forgotten about Derry until a few minutes ago and he grew up there. Maybe he had a concussion. Maybe he _should_ go to the emergency room to get a CT scan of his brain. Maybe.

 _Fuck_.

His tongue slid out to wet his lips. Where the fuck was his inhaler? His hand went to his pocket to take it out and take another puff before sitting down in a chair that looked questionable. _Fuck_ , why did he not get the wet wipes out of his SUV? _Fuck_.

He sat on the edge of the seat as his mind drifted back to Mike from Derry.

He could remember him now. Soft smile. Always helpful. Quiet. Mike from Derry. His friend. Eddie had a friend? Crazy. Wild. That was some weird fucking shit.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have friends.

Okay, he didn’t _really_ have friends.

He had Myra. His wife. She was not really a friend. More like a roommate that told him what to do all the time and made him feel bad about things. But wasn’t that like every marriage though? At least according to what all the dumb people at his work who were also married seemed to complain about regularly.

 _Fuck_.

He was freaking out. He wanted to call someone. He needed to call someone. Someone who could talk him down. Not Myra. Mike? Could Mike calm him down? He had always been a good guy. Calm. Helpful. He could definitely call Mike. _Should_ call Mike. They had not really gotten to finish their conversation what with Eddie crashing his fucking car and all. _Fuck_.

No. He wasn’t about to call Mike. _Fuck that_.

He felt anxious so he took a few deep breathes and let his mind wander. That was always dangerous. Somehow he’d always end up thinking he had like twelve new conditions when he let his mind wander.

His brain drifted back to Mike from Derry and then focused on Derry. That town was a fucking shithole. He had not been back since he and his mom moved to Boston just before senior year of high school. It was a terrible time to move. He didn’t have any friends to do all the traditional shit seniors did in their last year of high school. If he had stayed in Derry he would have at least had Mike.

Something in him _ached_. He wanted to call someone. Why the fuck? He had no one to call.

He licked his lips again. That was a bad habit. It didn’t help. Just eventually made his lips drier and honestly what the fuck because there were so much bacteria on the human tongue anyway. Fuck him. Man. Fuck.

His brain drifted back to the whole friend thing and he freaked out slightly because how fucking long was this dude gonna take with his car?

 _Bill_. He could remember having a friend named Bill. Eddie was pretty sure, at least.

Mike and Bill. _And Eddie._ Three amigos? Hmm.

His brain kept processing through vague memories he never had until Mike’s call. Was it real or fake? He couldn’t be sure. Mike had mentioned _they_ all needed to go back to Derry for some reason. Was it worth it? To go back to that shithole just to see two friends he forgot he had? Not likely.

He remembered red hair for some reason. A comforting feeling but he couldn’t figure out why until he thought about it some more and suddenly Beverly and Ben came back to him at once. Was that it? Was that what his brain was raking over? Trying to remember Beverly and Ben? With her red hair and bright eyes? And his big cheeks and kind words?

 _No_.

There was someone still. And his heart felt weird. He was freaked the fuck out for sure but also he had Mike and Bill and Beverly and Ben. He had friends. Once upon a time, anyway. In a shithole town in Maine.

 _Fuck_.

His brain remembered curly hair and a sweet but tired smile. _Stanley Uris_. He had been one of the first friends Eddie had ever made, much like Bill, but Stan and Eddie were much the same in some ways. They both always overthought things and were more cautious of the group. Bill was not wild exactly but he had spirit. He was not afraid of half the stuff Eddie and Stan were scared of. He was the heart of the group.

That was it. He could remember their faces so clearly now. Stan with his tired eyes. Mike, Bill, Beverly, and Ben. What had they been up to since their time together? For a moment everything else went away, and the corners of his lips pulled into a tight, tiny smile. He hoped they were happy. He almost wished he could see them even.

But fuck that shit. There was no fucking way he was going back to _fucking_ Derry. He had no interest in reliving the past. His life was here, in the now. In New York City. He had work tomorrow for fuck sakes. And yeah, he had vacation days, but he would have to explain to Myra where he was going, and she would tell him how crazy it sounded to leave your fucking life behind for, what? A middle school reunion? That was not a thing. And Eddie wasn’t that brave either. He couldn’t just go somewhere without planning. He needed at least a year to plan out any trip that was not work-related.

The mechanic gave him an estimate and told him how long it would take to get his car back. He signed some papers, not even thinking about it. It didn’t seem to matter to him. He felt sick still and just wanted to get home. Lay in bed and close his eyes while he focused on his breathing until the universe kindly took pity on him and let him fucking fall asleep.

As soon as he left the shop, he got his phone out. He had eight missed calls from Myra. _Woah, overkill._ That was fucked up. That was a fucked up thought. She was his _wife_ and she loved him and that was why she called. All the time. He wondered what it would be like if she didn’t love him so damn much that it made him feel… _Yeah_ , now was not the time to think about that.

Fingers moving of their own accord as he got that sinking feeling again of wanting to call someone. Someone who would know exactly how to make him feel better. Maybe it was Stan? That was dumb. He didn’t even have Stan’s number so the idea of calling him was insane. He literally just remembered the dude. _Fuck_. It was not Stan anyway. He knew that much. He could _feel_ that much.

He opened up Uber so he could get a ride back home. Grabbing his wet wipes from his car and triple and quadruple checking for his inhaler in his pocket and his spare inhaler for emergencies. The Uber was there in no time and when he slipped inside the car, the guy was wearing the ugliest and loudest shirt that Eddie had ever seen and for some reason it made him smile. He felt something weird inside him.

He had felt a lot of weird shit in the past, what? Maybe for an hour? Maybe two hours of his life? Two hours and suddenly his whole life seemed turned upside-down. But he still was not going to fucking go back to Derry. No fucking way. What a _joke_.

His heart did something weird. Like skipping a beat of its own accord and suddenly he had to remind himself to breathe but not in a bad way and that was fucking insane.

Fucking jokes, man.

And loud fucking shirts that no human being should ever fucking wear because they were an eyesore.

And fucking bottle cap glasses that were constantly breaking.

 _His heart hurt_.

Something inside him felt completely right and wrong at the same time. He remembered who he wanted to call. Who could calm him down. Who could get him out of his own fucking head.

How could he have forgotten? His whole body felt weird. Very aware. Like every single nerve inside him was shooting too fast and just constantly. He hated it but he also felt so incredibly alive and he had never realized until that moment that everything before then hadn’t really been living. Not in any _real_ kind of way, at least.

He brought his phone out of his pocket again, fingertips brushing against his inhaler but for once, it didn’t seem to need it at the moment as he opened up google and typed into the search.

 _Richie Tozier_.

The corners of his lips curved up into a smile. A full one. And Eddie rarely smiled. Richie still had the glasses. Wild hair. The dopey expression on his face. Loud shirts. _Fucking shit_. He looked… Eddie couldn’t admit the words so he worried his lip which was still curved into a smile as his fingers touched the screen. Apparently, Richie was a comedian and that made all the sense in the world to Eddie and this weird sense of pride took him over. How? He was not all that sure. He literally just remembered Richie even existed. _Maybe_. It didn’t feel like he had just remembered him. Felt like he had always kind of been there. Like Richie was a part of Eddie. Like he always had been. And that should have made him have a panic attack. Should have made his fingers rush to grab his inhaler but instead his fingers brought up google again and he searched for flights from New York City to Bangor before he could chicken out of it.

Some things were worth being brave for.


End file.
